Thursday, March 24, 2011

PinoyCosplay Presents: Youngest Professional Cosplayer

What is a professional cosplayer?
-Something that doesn't exist.
But how come we have one right now?
-It is because there are many druggies out there who took so much drugs and now they are having delusions of non-existent beings.

And today, we shall feature one of these non-existent beings. Youngest Professional Cosplayer.

Youngest Professional Cosplayer, is known for being a professional. Meaning she works at a very young age. Seriously... I'm not shitting you guys! But what idiot would accept minors? Wouldn't that make the employer go to jail? Why the fuck am I asking myself all these questions? Let's just move on...

It all started when a little girl had a dream of becoming the next Idol.

Youngest Professional Cosplayer started out by performing at bars, like how most celebrities start.

But sadly, that was not enough to boost her fame and career. After she heard of the Cosplay Goddess' success story, Youngest Professional Cosplayer ventured into the world of cosplaying and showed the world what is underneath her skirt.

And so, that got the attention of them pedophiles.
(photo was taken by a creepy old stalker named Mike)

And with the help of the pedophiles, her career started to move forward, she would do anything for her career. (according to Captain CS, the pic below is a cosplay pic of Sawako from K-ON!!!)

After months of cosplaying, she met a certain pedophile who gave her a chance to shine.

How was she given a chance to shine? Of course, a private performance to the pedophile of a very very hard dance, that took the Goddess all her life to master. But for Youngest Professional Cosplayer, having a background in performing in bars, she did very well in this really really really hard dance.

After her successful dance peformance, she was recommended by Pedophile Steamed Bun Pussy to Cosplay Legend Mike (his Sensui cosplay is epic). Because Mike is so legendary, he gave the title Youngest Professional Cosplayer to Youngest Professional Cosplayer.

Even after being known as the youngest Professional Cosplayer, she still feels empty. In fact, cosplay is so far from her desired lifestyle.

And so she stopped cosplaying and started doing other jobs. Like modelling

But wait... What do we have here? What am I seeing backstage?
What is she trying to do? Why is she posing like a whore in the parking lot?

I see some squatters coming and they gave her a coat.

And now she is all over the squatter! Bad Youngest Professional Cosplayer! Little girls shouldn't be doing...

And now we have another pedophile. We can relax now...

Turns out the Mr.Pedophile is just there for another job offer to Youngest Professional Cosplayer.
Off to another job related activity.

And there you have it... For someone so young to be a professional, you'll need help from lots of Pedophiles.

Tune in to this blog to see how Youngest Professional Cosplayer's career progress. That is all the time I have... I still have to sleep early, going to go get myself a pet lizard. You guys can also here order if you want. Now... Stay away from drugs you guys, you don't want non existent beings appearing in your heads.

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