Monday, February 28, 2011

Horny Boy Toy: S.H.Figuarts Kamen Rider OOO TaToBa Combo

When I’m not snooping around girl’s locker rooms as Horny Lover Boy, I’m also fond of watching tokusatsu series, particularly Kamen Rider. Yes, it might sound childish but there’s nothing more satisfying than watching human equivalents of Pokemon kick some rotten behinds all for the sake of TV ratings, children’s squeals and of course, toy sales. Recently, Bandai (oh remember the red logo with the white font on those Power Ranger toys? Yup, them) has been cashing in on Toei’s latest series, Kamen Rider OOO (it’s pronounced as Ozu, kinda like Wizard of Oz… why? I have no idea) with toy announcements here and there. However, I am most fond of the S.H.Figuarts line since:

  1. They most closely resemble their TV counterparts (well, outside of those ridiculously expensive Medicom dolls that is) and they’re pretty poseable (splits anyone?)
  2. They don’t look like mutated shit like the S.I.C. (Super Imaginative Chogokin) line. I mean seriously, I mistook Black for a grasshopper on steroids.
  3. They’re relatively cheap. (Yes, 1.5k-2.5k pesos on toys is cheap now)

Anyways, so just recently, Bandai just released the S.H.Figuarts Kamen Rider OOO TaToBa Combo and I happened to get one on the first release. Well why get one on the first release? Because those suckers who went for Bandai’s marketing faggotry got a… floating hand.


For followers of the show, this retarded hand that looks it flew off a dead corpse is called Unkh (or Ankh). Of course, Bandai being the corporate dicks they are, decided to include the hand only if you went to your nearest bespectacled Chinese-operated hobby shop specializing in supposedly honest transactions and bought it early. Of course, the hand does come in handy in crude, vulgar, if at times perverted situations for the green-minded.

As for the toy itself, it’s a hit or miss, quality-wise. The head and chest parts are beautifully painted despite the intricate markings of the figure.

Proportions are quite faithful to the show. However, the arm guards and the Tora Claws (Tora=tiger) look like they’ve been made from a Chinese sweat shop…

…and the ankles are just lazily done. Previous S.H.Figuarts toys used die-cast parts that gave them unmatched articulation around the foot area. However, with the newer releases, Bandai goes the cheap route and gives you almost unmovable plastic ankles which would make you think they used dried Mongolian jizz to hold them together (hence, the use of the stand in the pic below).

Kamen Rider OOO also can’t bend forward that much because of the chest armor that restricts much movement around that area, but it’s more of a suit design issue rather than a production fault (seriously, you can’t expect something to move much when he’s got a dinner plate on his chest).

Accessories-wise, OOO comes with a detachable OOO Scanner to replicate those Scanning Charge poses and a MedaJalibur sword for those oh so standard sword fights. Nothing spectacular to write home about but it’s worth noting that the OOO Scanner can loosely be held by a corresponding hand part as seen above. However, being loose, you’re very much prone to losing it as much as Justin Bieber lost his manhood ever since birth.


So is it worth getting? Despite the numerous production faults enough to make kaizen practitioners chop off their balls, it’s still quite a fun toy to play around with especially if you do manage to get that floating hand. The price is a turn off for most peons, but think of it as an investment. Get one now and save yourself the pain of getting him later at a more embarrassingly stupid price.

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